Oliver and Company

Often times when someone asks how you're doing, you usually say "fine" because it is what you think they want to hear. You figure that you shouldn't really dump your problems on the unsuspecting friend who was just trying to make casual conversation. Well, that's what the last few posts have been, casual conversation, trying best to avoid dumping our problems on anyone who was just checking the site looking for cute pictures of the boys. Well, I've decided at last that since we're all friends I should share what's really going on at the Oliver's.

This week has been the 2nd miscarriage in 5 months for me.  The first one happened early December not long after finding out we were expecting. It was over and done with pretty fast and I can honestly say it didn't bother me much. I don't think the idea of being pregnant had really sunk in.  Late February we found out I was pregnant again and my doctor immediately began to monitor my hormone levels through blood tests because of the previous miscarriage and because I am RH negative. From the beginning they knew the pregnancy wasn't going to make it because my hormone levels were not rising like they should have, but technically I was still pregnant and the fetus was still growing, just not as fast as it should have. The doctor offered to end the pregnancy since he had no reason to believe it was viable. However, Nick and I just didn't feel comfortable ending it while there was still a heartbeat, and so we waited. Last Tuesday after 12 trips to the lab, 3 ultrasounds at the hospital and 2 trips to the OBGYN the technician was unable to find a heartbeat and we consented for the doctor to perform a D&C since my body wasn't miscarrying the fetus on its own.

Unlike December this miscarriage has been a lot more emotional and disappointing for Nick and I (the boys don't know).  I feel blessed to have so many friends and family close by who have taken great care of our family over the last few weeks. I have been reminded of the infinite love of my Father in Heaven who offers me peace and comfort in times heartache.  More than ever I believe that Carson and Spencer are miracles and that Nick will forever be my best friend, he has held my hand through the happy, sad and most painful moments of my life. And I look forward to the day when we are blessed with one more and the Oliver Family can be a party of 5.